Nicolas Oliver Schneider

So Nicolas arrived on Saturday the 24th of July 2010!!
He was nice and early like a good little German.

I started having contraction at 5am in the morning... which just made me feel uncomfortable really and unable to sleep. By 6:30am Benedikt and I were both wide awake and counting the gaps between them. It was 10 mins at that stage. Benedikt got up and went for his ride with a friend... he stayed close by and was back by 9am, excited to hear that my contraction were by then 5 mins apart. I'd decided not to go to the forest with the dogs which in retrospect was a very good thing. Those contractions were stopping me in my tracks. They were getting really sore. Like really really bad period pains.
My gynie recommended we got to the hospital to establish whether or not I was in real labour, not just false labour. So we made the trip to the hospital that we'd been anticipating for 9 months. Bags all packed, camera loaded, baby outfits ready and doggies bidden farewell.
By 9:30 I'd had my fist internal examination which showed that I was 2cm dilated. I decided to stay at the hospital until my next check which was at 1pm. Good job I did because we got a lot organised! Eg my original doula was busy so we got her back up, we settled in to my room, I sms'd the world telling everyone what was going on, and we bumped into friends from the lamaze course we'd done (she had had a C section 2 days prior) and they lent me their Tens machine. Which is a machine that generates electrical pulses through 4 pads on your back, the pulses help disperse the pain somehow. It did help but boy did I still feel the pain big time.
Then my one o clock check up showed that I was 5cm dilated - YIPPEEE!! It was REAL labour... Nicolas was coming!! Although I wasnt THAT happy... the contractions were coming thick and fast by that stage and the pain when the contractions came stopped me dead, it was UNBELIEVABLY sore. I was ADAMANT to have an epidural. In between I the contractions I would recover fully and felt as if nothing was wrong. It was bizarre! I could still chat to my mum and sister (which was divine) and send sms's and even try and doze... but boy when those contractions came I had to jump out of bed and get my team into action. Imelda (my doula) had to do her special back rubbing and guide my breathing. Benedikt had to turn up the tens machine and give me moral support. And when the midwife was there she would feel my belly to judge the size the contraction.

Anyway, the midwife and my doula eventually convinced me not to have the epidural. They said my cervex was very thin and which would make the whole thing quicker and easier. And the epidural would drag things out and make the pushing really hard. Seeing as I had been keen to do it without an epidural for the entire 9 months I was easily swayed. But I was super scared. The pain was really overwhelming by that stage and it was set to increase! In the end I was REALLY REALLY REALLY glad I didnt have the epidural as things did move very fast. And yes, the pain did escalate and I battled big time to cope... but at least I got him out fast and I was able to feel the pushing.
Its funny, the hospital in general is quite against giving epidurals. I'm not sure why. Possibly because they don't do very many and don't feel confident? I dont know.

I did however have a pethadene injection. It made me super drowsy and spaced out which I didnt like. Although the drowsiness did make me feel a teeny bit more relaxed in between the contractions.
So by 2pm I was in the delivery room. Benedikt had some calming music playing and I was instructed to rock from side to side on a pilates ball whenever a contraction came as the baby hadn't turned quite enough. My team was excellent in those few hours before he came. I was SUPER bossy and barked short orders at everyone. As a contraction started I was ordering the tens machine boost, the gas, my back rub, breathing help, hand massage (my hands had lost all the feeling in them for some weird reason) and of course, 100% empathy from all. If anyone dared keep me waiting with these services I would get cross!
By 4pm I was 8cm dilated and by then 'my team' consisted of 6 people: My gynie, my doula, the midwife, the nurse, our paediatrician and Benedikt. And suddenly by 4:15pm I was fully dilated and ready to push. So it began. I felt SO out of things by then that the last 30mins is a bit of a blur. I just remember ALL 6 people around my bed shouting 'PUUUUUUUSH'. Quite comical really. The paediatrician kept giving me lots of instructions which I simply couldn't follow... it was difficult to concentrate. My breathing was all panicky and I kept throwing my head back instead of tucking my chin in. So the paed got Benedikt to shove my head down while he put his weight on my stomach to push Nicolas out. After like 20 mins of pushing he wasnt coming out and I was EXAUSTED. And totally totally totally out of it. I was in a daze. And the pain was extreme. So my gynie made the decision to use the vacuum and hey, whadya know, the next push he was out. He was born at 4:35pm. It was a very confusing time I must say. One moment I was pushing and the next thing I have this warm wet little body on my chest and everyone is going mad! Benedikt was OVERJOYED. He was very emotional at that point. Not that I noticed, I had that constant feeling that I wasnt in the moment, it was weird. So SPACED OUT!
Oh ja, and I also had to be cut. Twice.
Little Nicolas came out with his hand against his ear. Thats why I was finding it so tough to push. I remember I kept saying 'I can't' and 'I can't do it anymore' and 'I just want this to be over!' The whole gang kept telling me I could do it. And to relax. And to slow down my MAD breathing. I really battled to cope in that last 30 mins. I mean after going through ALL that pain all day and you are still expected to use your whole body power to push at the end... its a lot to ask!
So after the placenta was out and I was stitched up by my lovely gynie (I'll never forget her smiling, comforting face during the pushing) I was wheeled back to my room. Benedikt in the mean time had gone with the nurses to measure and weigh him and see them stick things up his nose and mouth and make him cry :-( He weighed 3.28kgs and was 47cm long. A good size and weight. Not too small and not too big. PERFECT!
The 3 of us relaxed in our room for a while, trying to absorb everything that had just happened. And me trying to focus on the here and now. I was a bit apprehensive to hold Nicolas as I didn't trust myself.
There was a lamaze class being shown around the maternity room just then and we allowed them to come into our room. I had to tell them about my experience! Poor girls I think I really frightened them with my VERY fresh recollection.
It was very funny having all these couples stare at us and our 1 hour old baby. They all just stood there open mouthed and scared. :-) Good! They must be scared.

So ja, its 6 days later now and the memory of the pain I went through is definitely subsiding... thats why it was important to write about it asap. I want this to be a reminder of just how unbelievably, overwhelmingly, shockingly, totally painful the whole ordeal was. There should be a word that is especially used to describe labour pain. No other pain will surely come close.
Note to self: DO NOT PUT YOURSELF THROUGH THAT AGAIN